The Great Tradeoff

Oh Gods of Invisible Illnesses, why couldn’t you have cursed me with just ONE damned incurable debilitating thing? Really, my cup runneth over with comorbidity. Your generosity is really above and beyond…I’d like to return all but one. NO? WTF do you mean, NO? Crappola.

Today is a Hemiplegic Migraine (HM) day. These sneaky little bastards mimic a stroke. I probably do not have to describe a stroke to you…it is pretty common knowledge, but just to be thorough:

I am pretty sure you can tell from the comparison above why an HM is so freaking scary and painful. It is one of the most horrific things you can go through, because while you go through the worst of it, you are AWARE. You wonder if this will be it; if you will be this HM vegetable for life, if in fact you live. Which you don’t wish to do if this state is IT. So yeah, all these thoughts are in the slurry brain, and I know I have to work really hard at staying calm during this neurological super storm. We really should start naming them like hurricanes.

NEWSWIRE: Today, the person of Shae experienced category 4 HM ASSHAT. The storm has not yet ended, though the worst has passed with the eye. We await word of full impact…

I’ve tried my opiod (percacet 10-325). Took the edge off my back and joint pain, but did NOTHING for the blasted HM except make the II Gods laugh at me. So I took my clonazepam early (this is an anti-seizure med in the valium family, relaxes muscles in spasm) to counteract the severe knots in my neck which only exacerbate everything. It is a viscous cycle, with one condition triggering another, and another…like dominoes falling in some complex pattern that somehow restarts where it began. You cannot break this cycle…the best hope is to slow it down for a spell. It is a balancing act of figuring out which meds to take, positions to tuck into, etc. The clonazepam also calms my heart a bit (POTS causes me severe tachycardia, sometimes even lying down, especially when in great pain or anxiety…and lemme tell ya, something that acts like a stroke causes a LOT of anxiety, even if you know it probably ain’t a damn stroke, pardon my vernacular). Then I have my memory foam wedge to drain some of the blood throbbing in my head, but not TOO much. Add a coke and chocolate for caffeine, which would make my heart racy if not for aforementioned clonazepam, and you have a slight but important reduction in head and neck and face pain. I am still pretty slurry (my speech) and incoherent feeling as I type this. Believe it or not, it is taking an inordinate amount of time, and I am struggling thru this bit. I am improving, though, and that is good. I have traded some HM off for some additional tachycardia, but you do what you have to do to get by. A little tachy won’t kill me, it is just very uncomfortable.

Hopefully I will be able to sleep this off, soon. But I wanted to share these thoughts while still in the grip of the trade off.

An aside, I did have a remarkable thing happen during this HM. I invented something. Something that I think will help millions of suffering people. I am going to take this thing to market, too. Seriously. It’s top secret until I get a patent in. THIS time, I am going all the way with my idea.

WATCH THIS AURA DEMO FROM THE MAYO CLINIC

Transcript follows…

A migraine is caused by changes in your nervous system. Migraines may progress through four stages: prodrome, aura, attack and postdrome. Not everyone experiences all the stages.

Many people with migraines experience the prodrome phase — subtle changes one or two days preceding the attack. This may include constipation, depression, diarrhea, drowsiness, food cravings, or hyperactivity and irritability. Alternatively, you might not notice any symptoms.

Some people with migraines experience a more distinct migraine warning sign in a second phase, called the migraine aura.

Auras are usually visual but can also be sensory, motor or verbal disturbances. Visual auras are most common.

A visual aura is like an electrical or chemical wave that moves across the visual cortex of your brain. Here, you see a functional MRI of a person during an actual visual aura. The yellow and red colors indicate activation in the visual cortex — the part of the brain that processes visual signals. As the activation spreads during an aura, a person loses normal visual function.

The best known visual aura is called a fortification spectrum because its pattern resembles the walls of a medieval fort. It may start as a small hole of light or sometimes as bright geometrical lines and shapes in your visual field.

This visual aura may expand into a sickle- or C-shaped object, with zigzag lines on the leading edge. As it moves, it may appear to grow. Auras aren’t the same for everyone, so you might also experience bright spots or flashes. Auras are sometimes accompanied by a partial loss of vision referred to as a scotoma. Auras commonly last 10 to 30 minutes.

A sensory aura can occur at the same time as the visual aura, directly afterward or on its own. A sensory aura begins as a tingling in one limb or a feeling of numbness that travels up your arm over 10 to 20 minutes. The sensation can spread to one side of your face and tongue.

Another aura causes transient speech or language problems referred to as dysphasic aura. In the rarest of auras, the limbs and possibly the face on one side of your body might become weak; this is referred to as hemiplegic migraine (this is what I have).

A migraine aura usually precedes the migraine attack but can also occur during the attack. A migraine aura can also occur without an associated headache. The migraine attack itself can last as little as four hours or as long as several days. The attack is followed by a postdrome phase, where you might feel drained or washed out.

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